Impossible
by Wayward Demon
Summary: Someone, a distant relative, has somehow gotten him into this mess. Now working on the Kira case, starting out as nothing but a secratary for the great L, he beins having strange feelings for the detective. "M" not suitible for kids. Onesided guy/guy love
1. Born From an Elevator

Adonis stood quietly in the elevator with his back to the door, memorizing the pattern on the wall. This was the fourth time he'd made it to the correct floor, and still he didn't bother to move before the door closed. He had a feeling that the people he was going to meet were watching him anyways.

He felt the elevator descend to the lobby the ascend to the top before stopping on his floor again. This time, he grabbed his suitcase and stepped out and looked at the palm of his hand. The scribble of ink was smudged and faded, but he could still read the room number that he had temporarily tattooed on himself earlier that day.

He walked down the hallway slowly, the plush carpeting muffling each already quiet footstep into complete silence. He saw an elderly man step out of one suite, putting a hat on as he walked toward Adonis. "They're waiting for you."

Adonis turned quickly and looked at him as he walked into the elevator, then turning and slowly finding his destination. It was the room the man had left.

He reached out for the doorknob, but it turned before he felt the cool metal against his skin, and he met face to face with a young man with dark hair and brown eyes. They were both startled.

"H-hi." he smiled, embarrassed. Adonis smiled back quietly.

"Excuse me." The words stitched themselves into the air with a thread made of both English and Japanese accents, creating somewhat of a white velvet and satin tone, soothing and quiet.

The other man stepped aside and let him pass and walk up to the man he was currently working for.

"E-excuse me." he spoke again and shook his head, criticizing himself internally for repeating himself.

"Hm?" Another man with a shock of black hair with endless black eyes glanced up at him as he added a sugar cube to his coffee.

"I'm the...t-the Secretary you hired." Adonis couldn't remember what exactly he had been hired to do, but remembered what his younger twin sister had called it in the airport before he had gotten on the plane to Japan.

"Secretary? I didn't ask for a secretary."

"Well, I guess an accountant and someone to organize the files would be a good thing to call me. I'm just here to save you time."

The other man nodded, "Save time..."

Adonis sat on the floor and looked up at him, studying his face with a look of childlike wonder on his own. "What do I call you?"

"Huh?" He glanced down at Adonis, "Ah, yes. Ryuuzaki."

Adonis nodded and stood back up. "I don't know where you were planning to keep me, but if you'd rather I not stay here, I can go to my grandparents' home."

"You'll all be here for a while. I'll make up my mind later, in the meantime try and make yourself useful."

Adonis nodded quietly and walked over to the door, sitting next to it and waiting for one of the two men that had left to return.

x

He had almost immediately surrounded himself with his equipment after he had moved away from the door. Everyone knew him now, at least enough to call him by name and recognise his face.

Small, slender and pale, he was, with dark yet peircing green eyes. His hair was an odd shade of bluish purple, which made his eyes stand out even more.

His very brief time in the Wammy House had earned him the name Gecko, or "G". But his visit had been so brief that he was a spec, if anything, amongst the memories of the other attendants. And his family usually called him Booger, or Addie, or Doni.

He was highly skilled in mathematics and the like, and had been considering starting his career as an accountant before a distant relative had called him to inform him of something that 'wouldn't waste his time'. It hadn't mattered to him until he had introduced himself to those in the suite with him and figured out what and who exactly he was working with.

Sighing at his computer screen, he took a pill out of his pocket and swallowed it dry, adjusting his position slightly to get more comfortable on the floor. Behind him, other's discussed the probability of this and that, his boss, who called himself Ryuuzaki, not bothering to correct their mistakes aloud, though signs of annoyance graced his otherwise blank and perfect face.

Adonis shook his head quickly as more thoughts of the man filled his head and tried to concentrate on the excel workbook he had open in front of him. Something in his past began to trouble him, creeping up on him like a dark cloud. He swallowed another pill, his mouth much too dry to force it down all the way.

Holding his breath, he stood up and ran to the kitchen area and turned the faucet on, drinking out of it to soothe his throat without taking the time to grab one of the small paper cups that sat beside the sink. His angle however, caused the water to flow towards his eyes.

It didn't matter, it masked the tears that clouded and slowly filled his eyes until they slowly and silently crept down his cheeks. He sunk to his knees, covering his face with his hands, and cried quietly for a few minutes until it hurt. Then he gracefully stood up, wiped his face and walked back out, sitting at his computer.

x

A/N: This is alot better than its former version. I think I like it. And you? Please try and review, it makes me happy~


	2. Hacked and Torn

He woke up suddenly from a sound sleep. Embarassed, he looked around the room, seeing that everyone was still there, then glanced at the clock. _'Only two hours?'_ He thought _'I usually sleep longer than that. the pills must've worn off.'_

Sighing quietly, Adonis ran his fingers through his hair and sat up straight. A quick glance at the screen of his laptop revealed a picture floating across it as a screen saver. The man in the photograph, tall , lean-muscled with medium length brown hair and mysterious lavender eyes, smiled at him. Adonis smiled back sadly and watched the picture fade off of the display.

He sighed once again and moved his finger lightly against the trackpad. His programs had been closed and on the screen there was a document flashing in the corner. Confused, he clicked on it.

An internet page filled his screen quickly, though it was left blank until the middle of the page. He scrolled down and began reading outloud to himself in a whisper.

"You don't know what you've gotten yourself into, Adonis. You shouldn't have listend. You'll end up just like him. You'll end up just like him. Sudden darkness. You'll be blind. Hopless," He trailed off and blinked before continuing, "You're disgusting, he was right. Nobody could possibly care about you. You're worthless. You'll end up just like him. You'll end up-"

It ended there. whoever had hacked into his computer had been interrupted. He didn't need the end of the sentance to figure out what they'd been talking about. "A-Aito." His voice was louder than he had expected it to be, and others turned to look at him.

Ryuuzaki faced forward still.

Matsuda looked the most concerned and brought himself to ask, "Is something wrong?"

A hand had found his mouth and rested over it. Adonis shook his head quickly and stood up, his legs shaking slightly.

"Are you sure?" Matsuda turned the rest of his body to mach the position of his head, " You don't seem like it..."

He nodded and gasped quietly under his hand. The message had been completed.

_You'll end up dead. Your body will never be found, like his was. Nobody will love you enough to look for you when you're gone. _

A picture of the same man from his screensaver in the bath, the water running and overflowing onto the black and mirrored tiles, mixxed with blood from his slit wrrists and throat.

Tears formed in the corners of his eyes, but he blinked them away, closing his laptop with his foot. He shouldn't be concerned with something like this. He had a job to do. And he knew that it was better if he kept to the task at hand instead of gnalcing back into the less than distant past.

He looked up, his shocking green eyes meeting with Matsuda's king and gentle brown ones. He smiled softly and convincingly before moving his hand. "I-I'm fine."

"Good." Matsuda turned back to what he'd been doing before, yawning quietly.

The shaking still hadn't subsided, and Adonis was still afraid to open his laptop. He kneeled infront of the large window and stared down at the city as everyone left to go home. As they left, they turned their cell phones on and nodded at Ryuuzaki to say goodbye.

He was ignored.

That is, until the door had finally shut.

"Mister... Fujikawa, is it?" L turned to look over his shoulder.

"Hm? Yes, Ryuuzaki?"

"What was with your little preformance earlier? When you started crying and shut your laptop?"

"That? Oh, that was..." Adonis glanced over his own shoulder and let his eyes meet with L's.

"Yes?"

"It was nothing to worry about. Just something about someone I used to know..."

"It won't interrupt your work will it?"

Adonis mumbled something under his breath and stood up, smiling sadly, looking much older than he was. "I know how important it is to you. I won't let it bother me again until you have this case solved."

"Good."

A/N: Wow. If I hadn't been rewatching the series today, I would have never noticed something. I have alot of inspiration at the moment, so expect quite a few more chapters coming in, maybe even tonight! I really hope you like reading this as much as I enjoy writing it~ Review.


	3. Storm Ahead

Adonis hated keeping secrets for the most part. It had been a couple of days since he'd been introduced to everybody, and they had moved to another hotel. Ryuuzaki had decided to keep him near by, and he was thankful for two reasons.

One, he didn't want to stay with his grandparents. They knew about what had happened to Aito and he had been blamed. Everyone but his mother blamed him. If they had known he was in Japan, they would no doubt hold him hostage until he begged for forgiveness. Even though it wasn't his fault in any way.

The other was that there was a small glimmer of hope that L remembered him and how he'd tried to help him when he had stayed at the Wammy House. It wasn't all too long ago when a girl called "C" was marked as a traitor and expelled from the house.

But that was the secret that he hated to keep. He had been so close to helping L when he was younger. So close to telling someone what was going on, but his parents had finally found him.

Maybe he was a magnet for bad luck.

In any case, he would have to hold his tongue and put it behind him unless somehow it came up, though the chance of that was very slim.

He didn't blame L for being seemingly emotionless. It's actually what he expected. He had heard stories about how he had been dragged into a psychiatrist's office and given some anti-depressants, but he refused to take them. If that were true, his frankness and dull expression would be explained to a point.

Adonis's fingers moved across his keys quickly as he entered several equations into the computer on his lap. Matsuda dozed beside him, holding in one hand a small blue and yellow box.

Adonis stopped and grabbed the box away from him as Watari handed him a bottle of water. "Thank you," his voice was quiet and laced with a thinner-than-paper tone of happiness. He took a yellow pill from the blister packaging inside the box and swallowed it quickly with the help of water.

Matsuda turned to him, eyes half closed. "What is that?"

"Caffeine pills. Would you like some? They'll help keep you up for a couple hours."

"Hm?" he sat up straight. "Are they bad for you?"

"If you take too many yes. One shouldn't hurt though."

Matsuda looked down sleepily, phasing between the dream world and thought.

"You can use my water?"

"I couldn't..." he yawned.

"Then maybe you could ask Watari for something to take it with."

"I think I'll be fine. Wake me when everyone's gone."

Adonis smiled and nodded, turning back to his screen. He had a play list of different instrumentals playing in one ear, his fingers dancing along with those of the pianist he was currently listening to.

He frowned as he realized that they were playing too fast, and he quickly changed the song. Meanwhile, the world went on around him.

x

Everyone stood in a semi-circle behind L's chair, Adonis at his side. Kira was supposedly terrorizing the entire world with a televised message. His mind tuned the others out while he listened to the distorted voice. Then Ryuuzaki's voice broke the barrier.

"Stop this broadcast!"

Adonis jumped a little and looked around quickly.

"None of my contacts there aren't picking up."

"Reception isn't answering either!"

He turned back to the television and listened carefully. In his mind, he wrote everything down word for word, trying as hard as he could to keep it from erasing itself. Minds full of bad memories tend to erase everything the can.

The door slammed shut behind him. Someone had left. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Matsuda turn around and say their name, though his hearing was totally dedicated to the television. As he brought his eyes back towards the screen, he saw Ryuuzaki bite down on his thumb. Then Watari setting up two smaller television sets.

This was different than the Kira he had heard the others talk about. He didn't know how, but somehow this just didn't seem right.

He turned towards the smallest screen as the man who had left, Ukita, collapsed in front of the television station and gasped quietly to himself. The last death he had witnessed still stayed with him, and this didn't help. His eyes shone and he brought his index finder to his mouth, biting down on his knuckle.

"Huh?" Matsuda looked, "Aizawa, look..."

For a few moments there was silence but it didn't last long. Aizawa walked towards the door, determined about something.

"Mr. Aizawa!" Ryuuzaki's voice. Shouting. "Where are you going?"

Much calmer... Adonis turned his entire body without changing his stance otherwise. Aizawa still faced the door, "Where do you think? I have to go there."

"You can't," Ryuuzaki's eyes moved, his head turning ever so slightly, "Please, think rationally."

Adonis shivered and wrapped his arms around his waist, glancing at Aizawa.

"What? You want me to just sit here and watch television?"

"If this is truly the work of Kira, then by going there you will meet the same fate." He wasn't sure, but Adonis thought he heard an undertone of worry in his superior's voice.

Aizawa turned and shouted, "You said he couldn't kill without a name! So how could this happen?"

"All of our protection," Matsuda moved over towards Ryuuzaki, standing next to and slightly in front of Adonis, "The fake IDs and aliases were worthless? What are we going to do? You don't think Kira has our names...do you?"

"That's a definite possibility. However," Ryuuzaki replied, moving his eyes back into their forward position, his head tilted towards the floor so that they were no longer visible, "if that were the case, you would think it would be easier to kill off the task force before making his move. ... From what we've just seen, Kira can kill with just a face."

Adonis shivered again and bit down harder on his finger, quickly pulling it out of his mouth and staring at the TV set once again. Once more, something didn't feel right to him.

Ryuuzaki continued, "If so, there's a possibility that Kira is in the area, in a place where he can watch the Sakura TV station, and everyone who enters the building. Perhaps-"

Adonis's head wiped back fast enough to pop his neck when Aizawa's yelling intensified.

"If he's in the area, doesn't that mean we should go down there?"

"For all we know, he could have only set up security cameras in the area," Ryuuzaki's reply was oddly calm.

Something surged over Adonis. A dark cloud. Something bad was about to happen. The eighteen-year-old's knees weakened as L was interrupted.

"If we were to rush down there, we could all be killed-"

"Wasn't it you who said that we would have to risk our lives to catch Kira?" Aizawa grabbed him buy the shoulder roughly and shouted.

Adonis froze.

"I know what I said... but..." L's voice quivered slightly, "Risking my life to catch Kira and doing something that I know will cost me my life are two entirely different things."

"Oh yeah? .. Huh?"

L had dug his nails into his legs and he squeezed the material of his jean, his entire body trembling slightly. When he spoke again, his voice was a combination of a whisper and quiet tones. "Please control yourself. We've lost Ukita."

x

Adonis still hadn't moved from his spot. He was angry. Not at anyone around him, just himself. The dark cloud from earlier... had L really been frightened by Aizawa's actions, or was he just imagining things? He had to have been. L wasn't weak. His usual tone was strong and commanding, yet somehow kind.

At least, that's what Adonis thought. There was the possibility he was insane. He'd been through a lot in the past year. It didn't matter anyway, what mattered was his job. After getting here, after reuniting with L, weather he realised who he was or not, he couldn't leave. He felt that he had purpose.

The others were discussing something at the time being, and he sat opposite from L in another chair, cross legged, his earphones in, but no sound playing through them. He continued taking mental notes. Maybe if he proved himself worthy, he wouldn't have to be just a secretary. But, as he'd thought before, he could be a magnet for bad luck. This could get him in trouble, maybe even fired. Still, he persisted.

x

A/N: I really hope this isn't as bad as I think it is. I worked really, really hard on it too. Well, tell me what you think. Please review...?


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